How To Talk To Strangers Online – With Examples
Well! Well! Well! I get it, It’s not easy. And, honestly speaking I was in your shoes not long ago. When I tried to talk to strangers it was overwhelming for me too. My heart would race, my mind went blank every time. Even talking to an old friend, a cousin (meeting after a long time), a relative or even your schooltime crush is not easy and becomes even more difficult when talking to an unknown person. When you know how to talk to strangers, you’ll see your confidence touching roof.
Talking about me, After my breakup about 18 Months ago, In last 8 months, I have made over 55+ new friends (Girls) online, who were complete strangers to me. We are still in touch, I have met many of them, Hanged out and I’m still talking with strangers and making friends. Understanding people behavior, their psychology, and learning some decent flirting habits helped me become a charming stranger (That’s what she said). And you can do the same too.
Pro Tip:
While you are talking to a stranger, The stranger is also talking to a stranger (you). They are no different than you. Both of you are here for same reason – “To Have A Good Conversation”
Look and observe yourself, talk about what you would also like to hear, ask and tell about what you’ll feel comfortable with, Give respect if you like to be respected too and really that’s actually how to talk to strangers and make a good connection that stays for long.
Let me uncover some of the proven methods that I use and some really helpful basics of the whole process.
How to Talk to Strangers Online on Random Chatting Apps
Honestly, There’s no Art, But yeah, there are a few very important aspects of talks and conversations that you must understand, like What to talk about, When to talk about, How to talk about. If you don’t know what to talk about, there will be no conversation, and even if you do have something to talk about, if you don’t know how to convey it you’re still doomed, and Timing, If you say wrong things are right time, and right things at wrong time, Boom you’ll lose the connection. So there are things you should avoid while talking to strangers online.
Here’s the process outline about how to talk to strangers or how to talk to girls online
- Basic Greeting
- Eliminate the awkwardness
- Don’t ask. Share Instead
- Respect
- No Questions, Use Statements
- Random Event of the day
- Ask for their help in quick small Decision-Making
- Talk about hobbies
- Little tease and flirting
Basic Greeting
In most cases, when there’s an instant match and you know both of you are in the chat like while using bonjourstranger, A greeting will be a natural response from both of you. In case there’s not, Start with a basic greeting, Don’t be COLD or wait for them to start. This will start a conversation and you can carry on, But what after Hi/Hey? What will you do next? If you stop there and go blank you’ll be seen as weirdo and awkwardness will hit the chat, here’s what you do next. Eliminate the Awkwardness.
Eliminate the Awkwardness
After the greet, it’s upto both of you how you continue further and make it a fun conversation. Don’t say anything you don’t feel like saying, Anything that might come up as weird. Try to keep the beginning of the conversation very formal, asking how their day was or is going (depending on the time you’re talking). Tell them about a funny incident that happened to you recently, or tell them about any plan that you might have for the day. Let them pass their comments or suggestions, this will make it a comfortable chatting environment and remove the awkwardness. After this, you can escalate the chat and keep going further getting to know each other better.
Don’t Ask. Share Instead
Even after you balanced the environment. Don’t forget you just got connected with some random stranger, you still need to build a comfort and a slight trust quickly, don’t bombard them with questions. Don’t make them feel like they are in an interview. This will make the situation weird again.
Use a different approach, Share your details about what you want to know instead, Like your age, your location. If you make them feel that you trust them with your details, they might feel the same, and if they don’t, Accept it and don’t push them. Sometimes it’s not your fault if the conversation doesn’t go well, the other person might just not be in the mood, or just passing time, with different intentions.
Respect
The rules are simple, You give respect, You get respect. There’s a very thin line between respect and disrespect. Try to maintain a light comfortable environment and don’t push them for something they are not willing to. Avoid passing any comments that might come across as marking a derogatory. Do not cross the line of comfort and make things weird. Let the vibe set in, let the environment settle down slowly.
Not everyone have the same intentions as you do and when you accept the other person’s intentions could be different and you make your peace with the fact that it’s not possible to have a good conversation with everyone it adds a calmness to your nature and this shows massive respect. There’s always a chance of rejection when they just won’t match your energy, your vibe and it’s okay to give up on connections that don’t serve you peace.
No Questions, Use Statements
A very effective yet ignored style of talking to strangers is you mess up with asking way too many questions. Avoid asking questions and making them feel interviewed. Imagine this, you get into a party where a friend of your friend starts talking to you, and one after another they are throwing a question at you, what do you do? where do you live? what are your plans? what are your hobbies? sounds overwhelming, doesn’t it? Same happens when you talk to a stranger online.
Now imagine, if it goes like this
Them – Hey (your name)! Adam has organized a really good party isn’t it?
(you’ll be more comfortable and this will start a healthy conversation you’ll feel more friendly)
Them – I am mostly at the basketball court, It’s a therapy for me.
(This will initiate the conversation about what you like to do when you are free like your hobbies)
Them – I love Dubai’s weather, I feel everyone should move there, life’s just amazing there. You should visit sometime
(This will initiate the conversation about where you belong and further more stretch a lot)
Did you notice? How using statements became such a good way of conversating and how asking questions sounded so creepy and unsocial.
What to talk about to strangers online
If you read all of the above, you must have figured out the basics of talking to a stranger online. What to do and what to avoid. How to do it the right way and what mindset to have. There are a lot of things you can talk about when you connect to a stranger online but here’s a set of things that I have always used to get to know the person I am connected with. Now when you have started the conversation and it’s going well but now you go blank and feel you’re out of things to say. Here’s what you should talk about.
Talk About Hobbies
Talk about what they love, but again first tell them what you love. 90% of the strangers are going to tell you the same things – Music, Dance, Reading, Walking, Day Dreaming and basic stuff like that because most of the people have almost no hobby other than killing time. So tell them some interesting hobby that you have that’s different, Like maybe you like to write stories, poems or you are really good at art / designs or maybe you sing really well. This will intrigue a sense of curiosity in them to get to know more about you. If they have a boring hobby your hobbies will interest them and increase interest
Random Event of The Day
Tell them something that happened to you recently or any random event of the day, Like you ordered the Wrong pizza and you got disappointed in yourself, Or like you opened the hot shower instead of Cold one and you burnt yourself, or A nice restaurant you went to and had good time. This will open up a number of possibilities of stretching a conversation, where you can talk about your favorite food, or ask if they have done something silly. This conversation will continue if there will atleast some level of interest of the other person in talking to you.
Ask for Their Help in Quick Small Decision-making
You might think that asking for help can come across as needy or weak but it’s not. When you ask for help, the person helping you feels a sense of trust you have in them because you’re asking for their opinion. You might have any little things like a decision about lunch you can’t make to either have Grilled fish or Mashed Potatoes. Ask them for their suggestion and tell them you’re gonna get back to them if they liked it. Ask for their preference that you would like to try. This will make them feel like you already respect their choices and you think high of them.
Not just that, this will make the conversation fresh. Something they haven’t talked to and neither have you.
Little Tease and Flirting and Banter
Now, when things are going well and you know both of you have a level of comfort and trust. Add some flirt and tease to your response, now this whole is a different topic and this matures the connection faster than anything and never lets the spark of the connection fade away.
If you flirt the right way you’ll find yourself enjoying the conversation which will further lead to a deeper conversation.
Flirting is a skill you learn overtime with practice with an active mind, you respond with a flirty banter making the conversation so smooth to carry on that it just flows and goes on.
Final Words
I appreciate that you’re trying to learn how to talk to strangers, it’s a good social skill to have to be able to talk to someone and carry a conversation well.
I have shared some parts and basic principles of talking to someone that I have personally felt have worked for me.
Talking to random people is good for your mental health too, It removes social anxiety and you become more communicable and influential over time.